Angel D Esturban Receives Roberto Valdez Scholarship to Italy

Meet Angel D Esturban

I am just a Guatemalan, Dominican kid from Boston who was shy. Growing up was hard .. I’m talking about not knowing my mother for first 6 years of my life. Being lead poisoned and having brain damage was a always a challenge for me. I was always afraid of being who I am, of just living free. I grew up in Jamaica Plain, Franklin Field and South Boston’s D St. projects. Moving was always difficult. You know, the feeling of meeting new ppl and leaving your friends behind for a new life. I never understood the reason why my mother moved around so much, but it was because she was poor and couldn’t afford rent. That’s where the system I call DSS came into our lives. Being separated never crossed my mind, it was more like a break from my mother, brother and sisters, but I knew something wasn’t right. Why we couldn’t go back after that first week and switching schools was just confusin until I was 8 and figured out the meaning behind not being home with mom and siblings. I understood I was in a foster home. It l didn’t seem much like foster home since it was my aunt that took me in, instead of some random non family member. I was comfortable with the idea but still didn’t know why I couldn’t go home. Later I find out my mother couldn’t afford paying rent because my father basically ran off , and made his own new family; plus she couldn’t speak English, so it was hard for her to get a job.

In September 2002 my dad passed away. I was only 6 years old 2 weeks away from my birthday. We had things planned but I guess life is just full of mysteries.. After that I always had a black cloud over my head knowing my dad was gone and a fat kid and not living with my mom messed me up, made me want to always be on my own . My godparents used too buy a lot clothes instead of toys so that’s when I knew I had a thing for styles and clothing. To me it was more fun getting my first polo shirt and Levi jeans also a fubu and hilfger track suits than opening a new power ranger toy on Christmas. My passion for fashion was there from the start; watching rap music videos and pop videos; trying to mix the styles together all in one but I was afraid of showing my ideas because I was already getting bullied and didn’t want to make myself look like a freak more than I already was. Financially I didn’t have the money to get the clothes I wanted but that all changed when I was 13 years old. I was back in Southie selling drugs and getting high so I had an advantage to buy new clothes which I did. At the time, 2007, I was in middle school. That’s when my love for fashion opened up even more I was more free and was able to get the clothes I needed. I was wearing skinny jeans and got backlash for it ppl used to call me gay and other bad names I will not say. It was painful and made me depressed and angry as well. I continued to wear more skinny jeans and show off my amazing outfits to the world I was finally freee!

I started to get in trouble and wanted to stay out of trouble. My second oldest sister told me about a program more like my sanctuary. Medicine Wheel brought me to a world I never thought I would imagine coming across such as amazing ppl !!, made my heart full with love and warmth . The energy was already there at MWP. Michael made me realize there is so much more to life then just living it . He taught me how to be me, how to be free, how to be the person I always hid. After leaving MWP, I continued with my fashion, making clothes and also art. I feel like I need to reach out to others and talk more about myself in person so ppl can understand where I’m coming from. Basically there is a lot of stuff missing but I want to tell my story; on my clothing and art not to tell it … peace and love is what we need !

from your Angel to another

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